♫ This is the story
WOW! THIS BLOG STILL STANDS! loooooool. it's been ages since i've touched blogging. haha. anyways, kinda bored so i'll just like, post an entry now. haha. i'll try to blog once in awhile.. no promises though. lol
where should i start.. hmm.. alright! i'll start with, "im back!!!" :D yeah corny. haha. hmm.. ever wondered how life seems so unpredictable? one moment you're on top of the world, the next you're a piece of trash by the road side that even the road sweepers miss. ppl say life's a rollar coaster. i think not exactly.. i think life is more like a stunt aeroplane. more G's than a friggin rollar coaster. lol. all my life, i've felt like dying many times, but after sometime, and going through some tough times, i've brought myself to this conclusion, your life, no matter how insignificant, is still made for something. no one's an accident. and we've got only one life to live, so no point wasting it on thoughts of death and giving up on life itself.
met some ppl in my life that always appear to be miserable, who always feel like they're dying. well i did tell them this, even if you think your parents appear to hate you, they, by nature, do love you. if they didnt they wouldnt even bother to raise you up. *do you know how much it costs to have a baby?? lol.* To lose someone you've raised is one of the most heart wrenching thing that life can bring. something i've learnt the hard way.
reminiscing about something that happened about a week or 2 back. about a month plus back, i adopted a kitten. was about 2-3 weeks old when i took him in. me and my girl gave him a name. we named him Baby. being so young, he needed his mother, but the ppl who took him back, who then gave him to me, didnt know what they were doing. so much for responsibility. anyways, my stepmum thought he wouldnt survive at that crucial point in time. i proved her wrong. he pulled through a month with me. when life got more complicated with things at home, i was seldom home. i delegated the job of feeding him to my maid and my younger brother. i thought he was fine. whenever i came home, he was always sweetly asleep. if he wasnt, i would feed him. a cute little feline like that was quite a sight in a home of dogs. i fell in and out of love with this little creature constantly. seeing him stand up on his 4 paws made me feel so proud of myself, and him. as time went by, i realised he got thinner and thinner. so i thought my maid didnt feed him enough. so i asked her to feed him once every 2 hours. i thought that would solve the problem as i wasnt able to be at home all day. i guess she didnt do it.. after surviving for a month at my place, he passed away.. when i woke up that afternoon, my grandma told me that he'd died. i was in shock. devastated, all i really wanted to do was get out of the house and not come back. i hated my maid, i hated myself. i know deep inside that it was all my fault for not being responsible over his life. i regret. but that doesnt bring him back. yes, i miss him, i love him, but i must move on. the only things he's left in my life are memories, and experience. probably fear, but that'll be overcome sooner or later. anyways, the attachment i felt for him was quite great. i felt so heart broken after losing the baby that i put in effort to raise. he would have been a strong cat if not for my irresponsibility. sigh..
with that story, i urge all those souls that are losing hope in life, please! dont give up on your life. if you do, the ppl who raised you, be it your parents, your aunties or uncles, your guardians, your grandparents, your nannies or whoever, blood related of not, they will be heart broken. spare a thought for them as well. having gone through that pain, i know how it feels, and you do not wanna experience it. so im leaving you with this thoughts, dont give up on life, or life will give up on you.
"as for my dearest baby, i do hope i'll see you when im up there. i miss you dearly, and im sorry for the torment i put you through."
here's a song i wrote for him. do hope you'll comment if you think it's worth commenting.
im sorry baby.mp3 - Adrian
Im Sorry Baby
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And i pray you'll dream about me
Despite the things that i have put you through
Hope you're doing fine without me
Have you had enough to eat, my baby
And i hope you will forgive me
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didn't care, at all
I know sometimes it's hard to breathe
The times you cried and screamed to me
You know i missin' all the times we shared
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didn't care
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didnt care
At all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im sorry baby...
~Me ♪ at 05:39
where should i start.. hmm.. alright! i'll start with, "im back!!!" :D yeah corny. haha. hmm.. ever wondered how life seems so unpredictable? one moment you're on top of the world, the next you're a piece of trash by the road side that even the road sweepers miss. ppl say life's a rollar coaster. i think not exactly.. i think life is more like a stunt aeroplane. more G's than a friggin rollar coaster. lol. all my life, i've felt like dying many times, but after sometime, and going through some tough times, i've brought myself to this conclusion, your life, no matter how insignificant, is still made for something. no one's an accident. and we've got only one life to live, so no point wasting it on thoughts of death and giving up on life itself.
met some ppl in my life that always appear to be miserable, who always feel like they're dying. well i did tell them this, even if you think your parents appear to hate you, they, by nature, do love you. if they didnt they wouldnt even bother to raise you up. *do you know how much it costs to have a baby?? lol.* To lose someone you've raised is one of the most heart wrenching thing that life can bring. something i've learnt the hard way.
reminiscing about something that happened about a week or 2 back. about a month plus back, i adopted a kitten. was about 2-3 weeks old when i took him in. me and my girl gave him a name. we named him Baby. being so young, he needed his mother, but the ppl who took him back, who then gave him to me, didnt know what they were doing. so much for responsibility. anyways, my stepmum thought he wouldnt survive at that crucial point in time. i proved her wrong. he pulled through a month with me. when life got more complicated with things at home, i was seldom home. i delegated the job of feeding him to my maid and my younger brother. i thought he was fine. whenever i came home, he was always sweetly asleep. if he wasnt, i would feed him. a cute little feline like that was quite a sight in a home of dogs. i fell in and out of love with this little creature constantly. seeing him stand up on his 4 paws made me feel so proud of myself, and him. as time went by, i realised he got thinner and thinner. so i thought my maid didnt feed him enough. so i asked her to feed him once every 2 hours. i thought that would solve the problem as i wasnt able to be at home all day. i guess she didnt do it.. after surviving for a month at my place, he passed away.. when i woke up that afternoon, my grandma told me that he'd died. i was in shock. devastated, all i really wanted to do was get out of the house and not come back. i hated my maid, i hated myself. i know deep inside that it was all my fault for not being responsible over his life. i regret. but that doesnt bring him back. yes, i miss him, i love him, but i must move on. the only things he's left in my life are memories, and experience. probably fear, but that'll be overcome sooner or later. anyways, the attachment i felt for him was quite great. i felt so heart broken after losing the baby that i put in effort to raise. he would have been a strong cat if not for my irresponsibility. sigh..
with that story, i urge all those souls that are losing hope in life, please! dont give up on your life. if you do, the ppl who raised you, be it your parents, your aunties or uncles, your guardians, your grandparents, your nannies or whoever, blood related of not, they will be heart broken. spare a thought for them as well. having gone through that pain, i know how it feels, and you do not wanna experience it. so im leaving you with this thoughts, dont give up on life, or life will give up on you.
"as for my dearest baby, i do hope i'll see you when im up there. i miss you dearly, and im sorry for the torment i put you through."
here's a song i wrote for him. do hope you'll comment if you think it's worth commenting.
im sorry baby.mp3 - Adrian
Im Sorry Baby
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And i pray you'll dream about me
Despite the things that i have put you through
Hope you're doing fine without me
Have you had enough to eat, my baby
And i hope you will forgive me
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didn't care, at all
I know sometimes it's hard to breathe
The times you cried and screamed to me
You know i missin' all the times we shared
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didn't care
My baby i love you
My baby i miss you
I'm sorry for the times i wasn't there
For the times i didnt care
At all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im sorry baby...
~Me ♪ at 05:39